Stripping Down for the public(not literally).

In a sort of throw back to the old “meme’s” that circulated throughout LiveJournal and Facebook a while back, there seems to be a growing movement/inspiration among bloggers to reveal themselves on a wholly personal level.

It all started with this brilliant post by Corbett Barr and was subsequently followed by a post by the owners of Married With Luggage, Betsy and Warren. If you haven’t already checked out their site, I highly highly recommend it. There is just something inspirational about all their posts, about seizing the day, about living your life the way you want to. And it’s amazing to see two people so in love taking such a huge leap by traveling around the world for three years starting in October. Makes me jealous even!

But anyways, there is truth to be said behind this idea of being brutally honest with people. This is my blog. Sure, I would love to have tons and tons of readers and subscribers, but I don’t know if I would enjoy it as much if I wasn’ t being myself. I don’t think I would be able to fully articulate the experiences I will have on this trip if people do not have at least a smidgen of an idea of who I am deep inside.

I am not going to censor myself on here. And I shouldn’t. This is my blog. My space. If I can’t be honest here, where can I?

And so, without further adieu, here are 22 things you may not know about me:

1) I am a very private individual – I like my privacy. This mainly stems from an unwillingness to bother others with my problems or concerns. And maybe a bit of arrogance. If I can’t figure it out on my own, how in the world can someone else? I’m working on this.

2) I trust people too much and too little at the same time – I have this weird dichotomy fighting inside of me. In the grand scheme of things, I like to believe in the innate goodness of people. I like to think that people are honest and truthful and all that jazz. At the same time though, when it comes to matters of the heart and letting people in, I am guarded. I have a very hard time letting someone work their way into my heart. It’s fragile, and it breaks very easily.

3) When I fall, I fall hard – Connected to #2. When someone does manage to finagle their way into my heart, I fall like a ton of bricks. I may not even realize that I’ve fallen for someone until it’s too late. Luckily for me, this has only happened twice. Though the eventual heartbreak is something I wouldn’t use against my worst enemy. Corey Tip #1 – Never ever fall for a straight guy. I did. I paid for it this past week. It’s not really good to spend most of your shift at work hiding in a room crying your eyes out.

4) I’ve learned to bottle things up a bit too well – One friend has gotten frustrated at me numerous times because I never get mad. Others have commented that no matter what, I’m always cheerful and happy. Oh, I get angry, I get frustrated. But I’ve always felt those to be useless emotions. Unproductive. Getting angry does nothing but make other people upset. So I push them deep down. Usually it doesn’t boil over(though there was that one time with the hockey stick . . . )

5) My friends are my life – I would die for them. I would do anything for them. I have this bad tendency though to put everyone else first, ahead of my own self interests. Well, I personally don’t think that’s such a bad thing.

6)  I’ve only ever been in love twice – see #3. Both times I’ve been devastated. Almost makes me jaded.

7) I love books – My room is a mess only because I don’t have enough room to hold all my books. I have well over 200 books. I’ve read them all at least twice. Some I’ve had for years. I still have my very first “adult book” that I got in grade five - “The Lost World” by Michael Crichton.

8) I would totally marry a latino – If a latino guy showed up and was like "Corey, I love you. Let me take you away” in that sexy sexy latino accent I wouldn’t resist. Yeah, that would be nice.

9) I don’t know who my biological father is – and mom doesn’t actually know I know this fact yet. Still trying to find the right time to tell her I know. And really, the only reason I would want to know is to find out what strange genetic diseases I should be worrying about. I found out a couple days before my 19th birthday. Dad told me as he didn’t want me finding out from a doctor should dad require some sort of transplant. What I didn’t know at the time was that he had just found out he had cancer and was preparing for any eventuality(he’s cancer free now though!).

10) My biggest accomplishment in life has been getting my degree – and this is without any student loans or debt to my name. Mind you it took six years. But I did it all while working full time and paying rent and car payments and gas, etc. I don’t even care if I do anything with this degree. I have it. No one can take that away from me.

11) I silently loath All-Inclusive Resort vacations – I think it’s a cop-out. No offence to those that like those types of vacations. But, if I want to go sit on a sandy beach drinking free booze and eating free food, I’ll go up to my grandparents cabin and save myself the $4000.   You go to Mexico or Costa Rica, and spend the majority of your time at the resort, surrounded by all the other drunk and lazy gringos. You’re young and agile now. Go out and live a little. Leave the resorts to the people who aren’t quite as spry as they once were.

12) I have never been comfortable with my body – I am fat. Well, ok. Not fat. But I can definitely stand to lose more than a few pounds. My wardrobe very much reflects the shame I have for my body. My clothes are purchased for the sole purpose of hiding my body. I’m balding and have at least made peace with that(I keep my hair buzzed short. Not much else I can do with it). I have been losing weight though. Down 37lbs since January.

13) I am NOT a city person – I am countrified through and through. I spent the first 20 years of my life on a farm, and that last 5 in the town(city now) of Martensville. Population 5100.  It took me three months to get used to the noise in town(ie// one car driving by every two hours or so), I fear I’d be a complete insomniac in an actual big city.

14) I need the sky, and the horizon, to survive – this is more for my sanity than anything else. If I look up to the sky and can’t see the stars or a coming thunderstorm on the horizon because of light pollution or skyscrapers, I’d be lost. I’d feel trapped.

15) I am comfortable with my sexuality – I know it seems odd, but even living in a small town, I have rarely, if ever, felt any sort of personal homophobic attack. If anything, I put myself through more misery fearing the attack that never came. I only recently felt a personal attack when I learned that a woman I work with at the pizza place in town took Wednesdays off so she wouldn’t have to work with a gay guy(read: me). This is a woman who was an angel to my face, but behind my back spouted the most vile of accusations and bold faced lies. It hurt. Again, this is why I have a hard time letting people get close.

16) I have a short list of people I want at my departure – Besides family who will be there regardless, there’s a short list of three or four friends who, even though I’d’ve probably seen them at every going away party I had the previous week, I would be devastated if they weren’t there at the train station to see me off. I’ll probably cry regardless, but it would be nice to cry in their arms.

17) In my whole life, I’ve never lived outside of a 6km radius – I have moved a total of three times. Once, from the farm to the south end of Martensville. Second, from the south to the north end of Martensville. This is beyond just a comfort zone for me. I have never had the chance to move to a new city and have to deal with finding where everything is, getting lost, or being confused. This will certainly make the first few weeks on my trip interesting.

18) I am an introvert – This will be both a godsend and a curse on this trip. As a matter of speaking, being an introvert has already gotten me prepared to be ok with being by myself, to doing things on my own. I already feel comfortable taking myself out to a dinner and a movie(my “Best Date Night Ever” nights). It would not phase me in the slightest when I have to do that in a foreign country. At the same time, it could hamper my attempts at building new relationships with people I meet because, undoubtedly, I will crave some sort of companionship.

19) I like most kinds of music, but country is still tops – And that will never change. I hate rap though. And heavy metal.

20) I’m not a huge fan of organized religion – Religion I’m all fine and dandy with. It’s the organized aspect that bothers me. It’s the organized religions that start the wars, that create the jihads. People are so quick to fall in line with their religious leaders that they seem to completely disregard the fact that god/dess gave them free will. When you follow blindly the teachings of someone else, you are essentially giving up your free will. Seriously people, give yourselves a little bit of credit! You’re not sheep!!!

21) What currently makes me sad are the people and things I’m going to be missing while I’m gone – My cats, my family, my best friend, dancing, my friends. Thank god for Skype and this blog.

22) If anything comes from this blog is that it helps instill a sense of adventure, wonder, and longing in others to pursue their own travel adventure.